Edwin  The upset
by kataangkissed
Summary: Currently on possible permanent hiatus.  Edwin, Edward has been acting strange and Winry doesn't know why. Angst.
1. Chapter 1

Might finish this, only thing is it came out of nowhere so I have no idea myself what is wrong with Ed. XDD Idea's welcome! Also how to you get that cool looking bar to seperate the text at the beging and the fic?

"You are the princess, and I am your humble prince." He wispered softly into her ear. He stroked her jawline, softly kissing her chin. "I will do anything for you." She smiled and looked deep into his golden eyes.

Leaning towards his ear, she mumbled softly, "Am I not your queen?" Playfully she poked him, she loved this. The warm fading sunlight through the window, the gentle breathing of the sleeping children in the other room. The sweet smell of her husband, holding her hand. She wouldn't have it anyway other way.

"What cha thinking about?" Edward stroked her hair. He loved it loese, she didn't usally wear it down these day. The kids rather liked pulling it.

"Nothing really" she looked out the window, "what about you?" He shifted in his seat. She waited a few moments and looked into his eyes. "Ed?" He looked away, towards the window. "Whats wrong?"

"I- no, it's nothing. Don't worry." He ruffled his hair and got up. "I'm going to bed, you comin'?"

"It's still rather early, whats wrong?" She reached out for him, grabbing his hand. "Ed. Tell me, please!" She pulled him towards her face, he flinched.

"D- don't cry!" He held her tightly to his chest, making soothing patterns on her back with his hand. "Don't worry, really it's nothing... Nothing at all. You need some sleep. Please come to bed with me?" It seemed almost like he was begging her. Something was wrong, really wrong. He never needed to beg her. Since that day at the train station she would of done anything for him. He would of never needed to beg.

"No, I- I better clean up. The kitchen is a mess and the washing up needs doing, and I have to sweep plus the whole-" She was cut off by Edward. He held her close and kissed her with so much passion, she couldn't breath. "Mmuh!" She tried to pull away but he had her tight. It was nice, but she needed air, surely he does as well? Pulling away slowly he went to bed without a word.

"Ed! Edward! Please!" She yelled. He carried on into their room. What was with him? She had never seen him like this... Exept before... When his mother died. But nothing like that had happen had it? What if something happend to Al, or Mei? Or their friends in the milatry? Oh god. She had to know, but she couldn't just call around in the middle of the night. She tugged at her hair fretting.


	2. Chapter 2

Okay second chapter! This one is longer, because I hate fics with lots of short chapters, so I hope this is better. Also worked out how to do the line thing! :D

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It was late, she had been putting off going to bed all night now. She couldn't tell if Edward was asleep or not. Every time she thought he was she heard noises from their room. Rubbing her eyes she checked in on the kids. Sleeping soundly in their beds without a care if the world, they where so lucky. Remembering when she was that young, when her parents left her, Ed and Al's farther leaving. Later on her parents dieing and then their mum. These kids where so innocent to the harsh world around them, she wanted to keep it that way.

Looking out their window she saw the dusky sky, it wasn't quite sunrise yet but everything was slowly changing coulor. Ed had been looking out of the window before, he had seemed fine moments earlier. Shaking her head slowly she tried to work out what he had seen. There was nothing different, just the sheep and the hills. Everything was the same here, always so reliable, or boring as Ed put it. Maybe it was something he had remembered? She knew this place reminded him so much of his past, but now it was his home and had been for years. Why would he get upset now? Sighing she headed towards their room, she had to get some sleep now before she passed out.

Walking into the room she saw Ed asleep on the bed, with his clothes still on. The bedspread half on the floor and clothes everywhere. What was he doing before now? Sitting down next to him she stroked his hair. It was so nice long, when he first began growing it out she wasn't sure about it. But it suited him so well. Pushing his hair away from his face she looked at him, he was frowning deeply. Putting her finger on her forehead she tried to rub the wrinkles away.

"Oh, Ed you are going to look so old they way you are going." She sighed kissing his cheek. His eyes began to flicked open. Slowly looking over to his wife he let out a gasp of air. How long had he been holding it in for!

"Winry." He looked as if he was going to cry, she held his hand gently. "Win, I- I gotta tell you something. I- I dunno how to though." He broke down crying.

"Ed please! Whats wrong!" She held him tightly to her chest. "Please Ed, maybe if I know I can sort it out?" He looked into her eyes, his full of fear and sadness. He was shaking in her arms.

"Winry, I- I can't I really can't. Please. Please don't make me." He was sobbing now, holding her so tightly she could barely breathe. "I, I don't know what to do. I am sorry. C- can we just go to sleep?" He was pleading her, his golden eyes wide, rimmed with tears. Slowly letting his grip on her slacked he tried to relax on the bed. Winry leaned over and pulled the blanked over him. She pulled his shoes off and unbuttoned the collar of his shirt. "I love you." He choked out before closing his eyes.

"Edward..." She let the tears stream down her face. He had promised her he would do his best never to let her cry. Why. Why was he like this...? Laying down next to him she felt for his hand, grasping it she felt the wedding ring around his finger. He hadn't taken it off since that day. he said it was the best day in his life. Rubbing his hand, she thought of all he and Al had been though. Maybe it was too much for him? He had been home for so long, maybe he wanted to roam again. But he didn't want to leave her and the kids? After all he and his farther had been thought it was clear Edward didn't the kids to grow feeling the way he did about his farther. Rubbing her eyes, she looked at the ceiling. The kids where going to wake up in a few hours, she better sleep. Ed was in no state to look after them, she will have to phone around tomorrow. Slowly she fell in beat with her husbands calm breathing and fell asleep.


	3. Chapter 3

Slowly these chapters are getting bigger, I really don't like small chapters. Again I love reviews so please do review!

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She awoke with a jump, she could hear banging from the kitchen. She sat up, Ed was already out of bed after last night she thought he wouldn't get up. Getting dressed she went into the kitchen, there she found Edward cooking breakfast. He looked up when she came in.

"What do you want? The kids have already had eggs and bacon." She blinked, he seemed fine, yet his voice was on a slight edge. "Umm... I guess I will just have a egg and some toast." She sat down as he put the food on her plate. "Thanks." She mumbled into the plate. He was still acting weird and wasn't looking her in the eye. "Have you already had something?" He looked up from the cooker. "No. I am not hungry." He went back to cooking. Right something was wrong, he was always hungry. She looked over at their children, Kerensa and Kin. They where gobbling down their food without a care in the world.

"Your food is getting cold." She jumped, Ed was watching her. She picked up the fork and began to nibble some of the egg. He frowned, and went to wash up the kids dishes.

"Can we go out?" Kin asked, loudly. "We wanna go see the baby cow in Joe's farm!" "It's so small and cute!" Kerensa giggled. She was very small and shy, usually overshadowed by her noisy older brother.

"Sure, just don't go anywhere else." She said while scraping the half of her food into the bin. She watched them run out of the house and turned to Ed. "Are you okay?" His face was covered by his hair. But his grip on the plates tightened. "Ed?" He shook his head and looked up at her.

"I am fine." He didn't look it though, he had large rings under his eyes and was pale. "But last night. you-" He dropped the plate on the floor, letting it smash on his automail foot. "I said I am fine." With that he grabbed his coat and shoes and left her alone in the kitchen. "Edward..."

Riza stretched her legs, she had been walking around all day, doing work for her lazy husband. He was meant to be the fuhrer so why did she always end up doing his work? Flopping onto her chair, she checked the paperwork on her desk. At least she got to sit down now. Then her secretary popped her head in. "Someone is on the phone for you, with the last name Elric?" Riza looked up, Edward? What did he want, he never phoned the military. He left as soon as Alphonse had returned to his body.

"I'll take it, thank you Yin." She smiled and left, shutting the door behind her. Riza waited until she was sure she was gone. Whatever Ed wanted it had to be something big to call her at work.

"Hello? Who is this?" She asked, fidgeted with her too short military skirt. "Ah! Is this Riza Hawkeye?"

"Winry, is that you? We haven't spoken in a while. Whats wrong?" It sounded as if she was... crying. "Is everything okay?" She could hear Winry trying to calm down, breathing slowly.

"Riza, I need help. It's Edward. He- he has been so out of it. I dunno what is wrong with him. I can't get to Al, the phone lines to Xing are down again and the post takes to long. I would go to Xing to find him but I have the kid's and I can't look after Ed as well." She was full out crying now. "Please can you ty and contact Al or can you or Mustang help? I don't know what to do any more!"

"Slow down Winry! What happened?" She waited for her to stop crying.

"Okay, it started a week and a half ago now. Ed was fine, but then he just freaked out or something. I don't know why though. Since then he has been depressed and out of it. He blocks me out when ever I talk about it and if I mention Al he get really worked up. Last night he couldn't sleep he just sat there staring at the window. When ever I tried to get near him he would yell at me." She was crying again but she carried on. "He fell asleep a few hours ago, but he was having nightmare's he kept screaming and kicking out. When I woke him up he.." Oh, Edward what have you done this time. Winry was trying to speak again but she couldn't understand what she was saying

"Shhhh.. Don't worry Winry, me and Roy will get down there as soon ad we can and we will get word sent to Alphonse for you."

"What? A- are you sure? I mean Mustang is Fuhrer, he must be busy. J- just make sure Al knows whats going on. Please!" Her voice was cracking again and she began crying once more.

"Don't be stupid, we are getting the first train there. We should make it by tomorrow. Please try to keep a watch on Edward until then. Don't let him out of the house." She heard Winry gasp.

"T- to late, he ran off. I have everyone looking for him but- we can't find him! Please come soon!"

"Shhhh, okay you try and find him and I will get down there now. Okay?" "Yes, thanks a lot Riza. Really." She sniffled and hung up. Oh man, she better find Roy and tell him whats going on, and get a letter to Al.

"Yin!" She called her secretary. "Can you please get Mustang here?" Yin looked like she was going to object but then saw Riza's face and realized she was not taking no as a answer. "We need to get on the next train to Resembool."

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I can't wait for Roy to come in, I really want to do his POV. Some other notes, their children are Kerensa and Kin. Kerensa is a old english name and means love, and Kin is gold in japanese.


	4. Chapter 4

Okay first thanks SO MUCH to everyone who has faved this and my other fics. I never thought I would get more then a few! You guys are awesome! Anyway new chapter is longer then the last again, and I hope you like it. Getting more towards what is wrong now. Please review! :3

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Roy was trying to have a nap when Riza's sectary came in, now here he was on some train at this god forsaken hour in the morning. He had been up all night sorting the paperwork out and making sure everything would be alright without him for a while. He had no idea when he was coming back. He looked over at Riza who was sitting on the seat opposite to him, she wide awake keeping a eye on everyone in the train. He insisted he didn't need any body guards so she took it upon herself to protect him. She saw him looking over at him. "Sir, you should get some sleep we still have a long train ride ahead." She frowned looking out of the window.

"I don't think I can.." He sighed. He was already busy in central, why did Edward pick now to have a breakdown? Things where stirring up in Ishval again with some riots happening every month or so. Hopefully everything should calm down soon, he just hoped nothing happened while he was out here. He looked at the passing trees, he had last been down here a or so year ago. Being the fuhrer it was hard for him to visit his old friends, so they usually came to see him. Maybe he should of visited more? Riza had told him everything, and it sounded bad. He knew a lot of people who took their lives after the Ishval massacre a lot of them seemed the way Edward has been. Perhaps the stress of all his travels had finally hit him? He closed his eyes and let the train slowly rock him to sleep.

Riza stretched her arms and reached over to wake Roy up. "Sir. We are here." Sleepily he sat up, he glared at her. "Stop with the Sir, we not at work. My name is Roy remember?" Blushing she stood up, pulling their suitcases down from the racks. "We best go. Roy." She mumbled, already walking away from him. Getting off the train she looked around, she had phoned ahead and ordered a cab. Asking around she found that they would be getting there by cart. Not exactly fancy, but it was nice. The breeze was warm and fresh, she began to adjust her hair. She saw Roy look at her when she let it all down, he was smiling.

"What are you grinning at?" She was still embarrassed over the name thing. "Nothing. I just didn't realize how long your hair was. You should leave it loose more." He didn't seem sarcastic for once. "Oh. You think so?" She stroked it, it almost reached her waist now and she had though of cutting it. But it was nice like this.

"Do you remember?" Roy was looking at the hills. "Do you remember the first time we came here? They where only kids then. We came on a cart then as well." His eyes where far off, remembering that day. "To tell you the truth.. I am surprised Edward hasn't broken down like this before. I have only seen him cry once, he holds everything in and it just makes it worse." Riza looked away. She knew as well as he did, after the war everyone they knew was a mess. Remembering it hurt so much, not as much as it used to. Not after helping the Isvalian's claim the home land back but it still stung. Edward must be in the same pain, but worse.

As the cart rolled closer to the house the saw Winry run out to them. Words tumbled out of her mouth as soon as she was near. "Your here! I didn't think you could get here this fast but then someone told me they saw you at the train station and I was so happy but you gotta come in no please come on I hav-" Riza cut her off by giving her a hug. "Calm down. Have you found Edward yet?" Winry shifted her feet. "Yes, however..." Roy looked at her sharply. "Is he okay?" Winry sighed and motioned for them to come to the house. "I guess... he sorta is." They followed her upstairs into to their bedroom door. She knocked in gently.

"Edward. Is it okay if we come in?" From inside they could hear someone shift on the bed. After a while he replied. "We? If you have another fucking doctor he can go stick it with the other one!" Winry flushed. "Sorry" She mumbled to Roy and Riza. "I am coming in now."

Roy walked in first and saw Edward face down on the bed. Everything was thrown across the floor and the curtains where shut. He walked over to them and pulled them open. The bright light lit the room making Ed pull the pillows over his head. "I told you to fucking go away!" Looking down at him he didn't look good. His hair was tangled, his skin white and specks of mud covered him and his clothes. "Thats no way to speak to a old friend Edward." He smiled as Ed spasmed at the sound of his voice. With his head still under the pillow he grabbed the lamp beside the bed and threw it toward him. Jumping sideways it hit the wall and smashed. "But then again you where never one for manners where you?" Ed's hands turned into fists.

"What do you want!" I never asked for you to come down here!" Roy stepped over the mess and sat on the edge of the bed. "Looks like you needed me to come." Before he could do anything Ed has spun around and punched him in the face. "Just fucking leave! Surely you have better things to do then make fun of a bean right! You don't bloody care! Get out of here now!" He was hurling everything he could reach at them now. Ducking he left the room and shut the door behind them. "That didn't go so well.." They heard the bed creak and sobbing from the room. "Do... Would you like to have so tea... Or something?" Winry mumbled into the floor, the poor girl looked like she was going to cry. "That would be lovely thanks, Winry" Riza smiled taking her hand. "Shall I help you with it?" Winry nodded and they made their way downstairs. Roy looked back at the door, Edward was still crying.

Riza sat next to Winry, drinking her tea. "Okay, so when exactly did this start?" Winry shifted and looked outside the window. " I am not sure of the exact date, but it was around a week or maybe a week and a half ago. He was fine and then..." She looked down at the cup in her hands. So he had been like this for a short while then? "Why didn't you call anyone before then?" Winy looked up with tears in her eyes. "Ed didn't want to see anyone. I thought he might calm down after a while but.." She looked at her cup again and Riza remembered something Winry said. "Yesterday, when you where on the phone you mentioned him doing something..." She watched Winry tense up and Roy leaned forwards, interested. "What happened?" He asked gently.

"... Do I have to tell you? I mean Ed asked me not to talk and I don't really..." She seemed to shrink under their gaze. Putting a hand on her arm Riza smiled. "Don't worry about it okay?" Winry nodded. "By the way, where are your kids?"

"Kerensa and Kin are with some friends. I dropped them off after yesterday... I don't really want them to know about whats going on." Roy nodded understandably, he looked Riza, and she nodded. Confused Winry looked at Roy. "Winry, I think we need to call Edward a psychiatrist, he seems severely depressed and I think he needs some help." But as he was saying it Winry was already shaking her head. "Do you think I haven't tried that? I asked and he was not pleased. You heard him before when he thought you guys where doctors. He just won't talk about it at all." She walked over to the window. The light flecked the hills, everything was so bright and green. "Before. When it started, he was upstairs looking out of the window. Do you think he wants to move on? He was never one to stay in one place." Riza looked over to Roy. "I really don't know. But we are here to help." She sadly smiled.

Edward stood on the landing. He could hear them, he knew they where on about him and he hated it. They knew nothing. Nothing at all and he was sick of it. The doctors, the stupid talks. He wanted Al, he would understand. But he was never here any more. No one was ever here any more. He let himself cry, he didn't know what to do anymore. He didn't want to go down there and face their questions, but he couldn't stay in the bedroom any longer. He couldn't fall asleep, they would get him. Sliding down the wall he curled up, the nightmares where terrible, more so then ever before. He always used to have Al there for him but now. He had never felt so alone. So he just sat there. Listening.


	5. Chapter 5

Sorry this chapter took a while, a lot didn't work out how I wanted it too. If you like this fic please read my other one called Firefighter! Once again thanks so much for faves and reviews I really do squee every time I get one!

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"So, what do you think of it all then?" Me and Roy where in the spare bedroom Winry had set up for us. Roy was changing, while I was laying on the bed. "He clearly is depressed." I picked at the edge of the blanket looking up at my husband, he sighed while pulling a shirt over his amazing chest. Walking over he flopped on the other side of the bed.

"I don't know. Your are right, he does have some kind of depression, something I have seen a lot of." I slipped my hand into his and he kissed it. We both had gone through this, we know how it felt. "But I have no idea what kind. We really need a doctor down here. Someone he trusts. I don't want to drag someone he has never met into his own house. He already seemed pissed off with me."

"Ah, but this is Ed we are talking about. No matter what you do he is going to be pissed off with you." I lay my head on his lap and he gently stroked my face. "The only doctor he truly knows is Marho, and he is up in the north." Roy nodded pushing the hair away from my face.

"Anyway his specialty is in wounds, and diseases. He isn't really a psychiatrist. Honestly there isn't really anyone else who can help him unless he lets them." He slipped his hands under my jaw, feeling the scars from all those years ago. "He saves everyone yet won't accept any help. That's Ed for you." I smiled and kissed him. We would work something out.

I sat curled up on the bed. Someone came in. They sat next to me and wrapped them self around me. Must be Winry, Roy would never do that. She won't let go, why? I pushed her away and she holds onto my hand. No. Go away. She won't leave me alone, even why I tell her too. Why is she always so clingy! There is no point, I know I will die first, she is too good for me. I know I am a failure, and that everything is already over. I can't even do basic things. I always relied so much on alchemy I can't believe I only just realised this. I am completely useless. I look over at her, she is asleep now. She has been crying, tear trails down her face. I touch them following the trails with my fingers. She deserves so much more.

I get up and walk out of the room, its cold on the landing. My automail leg clanks and I walk down the stairs and go into the kitchen. I turn on the tap and slurp the water, why am I so thirsty? When was the last time I had a drink? I couldn't even remember any more. I straightened up looking right out of the window above the sink. From here I could see it, the tree, the place where that swing once hung. The place where my house once stood. Where I was once so happy. I- I can't do this.

I run to the door, almost ripping it off it's hinges in my rush to get out. Is someone behind me! I can hear another someone elses breath behind mine.

"Fuck! Leave me alone!" I scream, but is anyone really there? Running up the road, away from he house, away from the charred remains of my last house. Just away from everything. The running felt good, like I was finally free. The wind whipped my hair behind me and one leg felt the rocks underneath my bare feet. The sky was dark, and full of stars and everyone I know is under this same sky. The same stars. Suddenly they where gone and all I could see was dusty stones. I fell over? Turning around I see the large rock under my left foot. Ah, I couldn't feel it there. Resting my head down I feel my eyelids close, so tired...

I stood over Edward, he had fallen over a large rock. I slipped down onto my knees to see his face. He was... Asleep. How was I meant to move him now? He was a lot bigger then he was as a kid, and his automail didn't help things. Sitting down I looked up at the sky like he had moments before he fell. It was amazing, you could see all the stars out here. I thought of Hudges, he would of loved to of seen it here. Edwards and Winrys kids, him and Riza together, this amazing sky. I rubbed away the tears and looked back at Ed. He was twitching and sweating.

"Edward?" I shook him gently but he pushed away yelling out. I couldn't understand what he was saying. Was he crying? "Come on Edward!" I rolled him over onto his back as he struggled away. "Edward!" He must be having one hell of a nightmare, his breathing was quick and his hands in fists.

"Al! Alphonse! Don't leave me!"

"It's okay Ed, I got you." I slipped my arm under his and shifted him up, balancing him against me. "Edward. You have got to wake up, then you can see Alphonse."

"No... No. I can't. Mom! MOM!"

She was there, I pulled my hand out to her she smiled and walked away. I yelled out for her, but she was already gone. Al was there he smiled and walked away from me as well.

"Al! Alphonse! Don't leave me!" He turned around and held out his hand, running over I grabbed it and he pulled me into a hug. His hair tickled against mine and his head was against my shoulder.

"Do it Ed." He was pointing now, at a huge transmutation circle with the ingredient's in the middle. I had seen this before, I knew what would happen if I touched it. "Come on Ed, transmute us back our mother. You know you want her back." I tried shaking my head but he pulled away from me. "Do it. Or I will leave you again."

"No... No. I can't. Mom! MOM!" She was there already however, her mangled corpse bent in horrific ways. She reached out to me, grinning. "Give you mother a hug Edward!" I pulled away from Al, who was back in his armour. His glowing eyes staring a me, his hand reaching.

"Whats wrong Edward? You made me like this, you made all of us like this. Don't you want us anymore? Maybe we should just disappear?" I shook my head, but he was already gone. Him and mom, had both left me. I was all alone in the dark, with no one to help me.

"NOOOOO!"

I was struggling with him down the road when he yelled out. His arms flung away from me and I lost my footing dropping him into the ditch. Shit! He landed on his head a small cut bleeding down his face. How the hell was I meant to get him back? We had barely moved from where he fell and it was still far from his house. I couldn't leave him alone nor move him. I ripped part of my night shirt to make a bandage for his head. The cut wasn't big, but went pretty deep and was already soaking his hair in blood. Pulling him up into a sitting position against a fence, he grabbed my hand tightly. I looked at him, was was still completely out of it. Most likely knocked out after that fall.

Someone was driving up the road from where we had come from. I ran out waving my hands, the light blinding me. God, please stop! Braking hard the car door opened and out ran Riza in her nightclothes. Man her legs looked nice. Mmmmm.

"Roy! What happened?" She ran over to Edward. Oh right, Ed! Running over I helped her lift him up. "I saw you run after him, but how did he get hurt?" We heaved him into the back seat of the car, laying him on his back.

"He tripped and was asleep by the time a reached him. He can sure run when he wants to." She got into the front seat, and I sat next to her. "I tried to move him when he had a nightmare, and he freaked out." She stopped messing with the car and looked at me.

"A nightmare?" Nodding I slipped my belt on. "Was he saying anything about it?" I tried to remember. "Yeah, he was going on about Al and his mum..." Looking at me she shook her head. "This isn't good Roy, if he keeps getting nightmares then he won't want to sleep." She began to drive back to Ed's house in silence. "He might of had more nightmares then this. Winry might of forgotten to tell us, or didn't even know about them." I could see the house now. Riza put the car in park and I ran ahead to open the door. With Riza holding his head and me his legs we pulled him into the house and onto the sofa.

Riza felt his cut forehead. "He is way to hot, we gotta cool him down." Nodding I ran into the kitchen and soaked a towel in cold water while looking for the bandages. In the other room I heard a gasp and Winry's voice.

I could hear banging downstairs, shifting on the bed I sat up and realised Edward wasn't here. "Ed?" I leapt out of my bed and ran down the stairs when I got into the front room, I saw him with Riza. "Edward!" His head was bandaged and I could see blood on his face. Running over I grabbed his hand and watched a Riza pulled the bandages off. Underneath there was a large bleeding gash. "What happened to him!" My voice shook as I pulled his hair away from the wound.

"He ran away from the house and tripped. Roy says he fell asleep on the road. Has he had nightmares before now?" I froze looking into Riza's eyes.

"What? No I- I don't know. Was it about His mom? Or Alphonse?" Riza stopped attending to Edward and looked at me. She took hold of my hands and looked at me. I then realised I was crying, pulling away I wiped the tears away. "A- a few years ago he had some really bad nightmares. Back when I was pregnant with Kin. I thought it was because he was going to be a dad. After everything that he went through with his, he was clearly having a hard time. But After a week or two he was okay. I- I thought it was the same thing, but when he ran away before..." Roy came in then and frowned at Edward. He tied some new bandages on his head and layed the wet dishcloth across his eyes.

Sitting across from us he looked at me. "Winry. Is this not the second time he has run away now? We can't force him to stay here. But if we let him go he will get even more hurt. We need to call a doctor in and know what happened last time he ran away. I found him in the middle of the road asleep. If me and Riza didn't go after him, anything could of happened."

"I know!" I yelled. Coving my face, I looked down. "Sorry, I didn't mean to yell but I do understand. Could you all someone in the morning then? I really don't think he will see them but if you think it will help then we will try." Reaching out I held his hand again, he was breathing so softly. Almost like there was nothing wrong. I felt a hand on my back, Riza's. She was always hee for me and Edward. "Thanks." She looked surprised. "Just thanks." I smiled and curled up around Ed. Roy walked off towards his room and Riza went into the kitchen. Sighing I fell asleep wrapped around him.

I awoke with a jump, there where people in my room. Wait this wasn't my room, it was the living room. What was I doing here? I tried to remember but my head was banging to much for to think straight. I could smell Winrys hair, it always smelt so sweet, of strawberries and something else I couldn't quite place. She was asleep half on top of me. Shifting I looked across the room and saw Roy and Riza with my doctor. They where talking to someone I had never seen, he had a beard and big eyebrows. His clothes where crisp and looked brand new. Jeans with a sweatshirt. He looked odd in them as if he was trying to be someone he was not. He looked over to me and smiled. "Ahhh your awake!" His voice was crackly and sounded to old, he only looked 30 but had a old mans voice.

He tried walking over to me and I tried to shift away but Winry had numbed my legs. He stopped and frowned. I tried to speak but my voice throat was sore I ended up coughing instead. "Would you like some water Edward?" Riza was by my side. I didn't mind her there but the other man seemed to be watching closely. Nodding I shook Winry on the shoulder. She shifted squashing me.

"Ah!" I chocked out as she sat up and blinked at me. "Ed?" She looked down and realised she was on my chest and jumped up. "Are you okay! I am so sorry!" Her eyes where red like she had been crying. I sat up and saw Riza holding a glass out to me, grabbing it gulped down the water. She took it away again and I watched as Roy nodded at Winry.

"You found one this quick!" He nodded again, and she rubbed her arms. "Okay.." She sat down in the chair across biting her lip.

"Who are you?" I spat at the bearded man. He smiled and sat down next to Winry. I reached up for my hurting head and realised it was bandaged. "What happened?" Roy frowned, and walked over.

"You don't remember last night?" I shrugged. "Why should I?" He looked over at the bearded man and they both exchanged a look. "Will someone tell me what the hell is going on!"

"Ed." Winry was looking at me. "Do you remember a few days ago. When you ran off?" I frowned thinking. I remembered being mad, really mad. But I couldn't remember why or what I did. "I bit.. I- I remember throwing stuff... And going away. You where crying." I looked at my hands, at the ring on my right one. Why did I make her cry?

"Edward Elric?" I looked up at the bearded man. "That is your name right?" I nodded, unable to speak. "We think you may be going though some form of depression, and I am here to help. My name is Doctor Kusama. I help with cases of mental health and have been asked to help." I shot a look at Winry who looked helpless.

"Why do I need some fucking quack to help me!"

"Ed, please don't swear." Winry mumbled into her lap. Why wasn't she helping me? "Please just try to listen to him."

"I would like to try to talk you and help. You can not remember last night. But can you remember this last week or the week before?" He was looking right into my eyes, like he could tell everything about me already. "I- I..." I couldn't I remembered flashes of anger and sadness, but not what caused them. "No.. Not completely..." He nodded. "It seems you are blocking out what upsets you. If you would let me we could talk about it and I can help you and your family through this."

I looked around then. "Where are Kin and Kerensa?" Winry looked like she was going to cry as she spoke. "You really don't remember?" I panicked then, had I hurt them! No I would be down the predict then. Looking around I tried to remember but all I got where flashes of their faces. "They are down with the Smiths."

"... Are they okay?"

His eyes where scared, something he didn't show often. What was he thinking? "They are fine don't worry, I just felt you could use a bit of a break from them..." He frowned and looked around again, he looked... lost. Doctor Kusama seemed to agree with this decision.

"I think it would be best if your kids where away for a small while, we can talk to them about it afterwards, yes?" Edward jumped, glaring at the doctor once more. "After what?" His fists where clenched as where his teeth.

"Don't worry Edward, he just wants to talk about what is upsetting you so much and giving to nightmares." Roy replied. No! Too late, Ed was giving him a look at could kill.

"What the fuck Mustang! You have been watching me sleep!" He stood up then trying to run towards him. Everyone one else leapt towards him but they where to late, his eyes unfocused and he passed out. Roy grabbed him before he hit the ground and pulled him back onto the sofa. I ran over and sat next to him. Doctor Kusma was looking at me now.

"Miss Elric is it?" I nodded. "...Yes?" He smiled and stood up. "Could we talk together for a while? I would like to know more about you husband and his past. Is there somewhere we could talk in private?" Stiffly I stood up and lead him into my automail workshop room. "... This way." Shutting the door behind me wished I was still with Edward.


	6. Chapter 6

Everything was blurred and I unfocused. Now matter how hard I tried to see straight everything still looked kind of fuzzy. I pulled my hands away from my sides and pushed the in front of my face. All I could see however was flesh coloured blurs. They tightened as I slowly remembered what happened before I passed out. I bet they stuck me on some fucking meds that I don't need. Sighing I began to listen, somewhere in another room two people where talking. One was Winry... The other I wasn't so sure. Was it that weirdy beardy guy doctor guy? I heard a door open and someone walked into the room. Their steps where light and quick, Winry.

"Edward?" I felt her take my hand as she sat on the edge of the bed. "You awake?" Groggily I nodded and coughed.

"What the hell did they give me?" I chocked out, her hand tensed up. "Oh.. Just some medication for headaches and to calm you down a bit..." She stroked my hand. "Why? Are you feeling okay?"

I shook my head, making everything blur worse. "I can't see straight." No that was wrong. "Scratch that I can't see anything. Everything is... Blurry." I tried looking over to our entwined hands and saw a blur of her blonde hair.

"Do you want me to get the doctor?" I sighed, she sounded so worried I really didn't want he to be so I nodded for her sake. She let go and ran out of the room. Alone I pulled the bed covers over my chest and under my chin, I must be in mine and Win's bedroom.

I turned when I heard her return with someone else. She sat again on the edge of the bed and I reached out for her hand once more.

"Whats the problem then Edward?" The doctor asked, he sounded concerned but to me it seemed a bit cocky. Who was he to stand in my bedroom and talk like that to me after drugging me into this state?

"Yeah. You drugged me up and now I can't see a fucking thing straight!" Winry sighed and I tried to focus on her hair. It was lovely, I wish I could just see it right once more.

"Hmmm. You can't see anything or is it just out of focus?"

"It's all blurry and I just can't see straight. What ever the hell you gave me I don't want it near me again!" I heard the floorboards creak as the doctor walked towards the bed. His hand brushed against my forehead and I leapt back slapping it. "What the hell? I would prefer it if you didn't randomly touch me!"

"Hmm... You have a high temperature as well." What the hell? Did he even hear me! "You better stay in bed for at least another twenty four hours." What is with this guy? Who was he to drug me up and then boss me around?

"Well what else am I meant to do? You just drugged me up and now I can't even see your smug face!"

"Edward." Winry was stroking my hand again. "He's just trying to help."

"I. Don't. Fucking. Want. It." I pulled my hand away from Winry and pushed the covers over my head. They began talking again but everything was muffled under the covers. It was.. Dark and.. Nice. Closing my eyes I let everything fade into black.

I was in the kitchen making tea, while my husband talked to the doctor. It seemed Edward wasn't reacting well to the medication they had given him. Walking into the living room Winry ran over to me.

"C- Could you try getting Ed something to eat? I mean I would but I am not sure if he will see me..." Handing her the tea I had made nodded.

"What shall I get him?" I asked while going back into the kitchen and looking through their cupboards. "Anything that doesn't have milk in!" She yelled, while Roy sniggered.

"He still won't drink milk?" I sighed at him while getting out the ingredients for soup. Cutting up the vegetable's I heard a fight break out between Roy and Winry.

"Don't call him short!"

"But he is!"

"He is ill and you make fun of him!"

"Yeah! We wasn't exactly caring to me when I was blind!"

I heard a crack and peeping around the door I saw Roy holding his head and Winry with her wrench. "Roy, we are guests in this house and you will behave." I commanded while he cradled his battered head. Going back into the kitchen Winry followed me to help. We worked together in silence and I could tell she was thinking over something.

"Riza..." I looked up from the bread I was cutting. She was mixing the soup in the pot slowly, not looking at me.

"Yeah?"

"Would.. Well, if worse came to worse would you be able to take the kids for a while? I mean we don't know anything yet but they can't stay with Smith's for much longer and.." I cut her off before she could finish. "Do you even have to ask?" She turned and looked me in the eyes. She was scared. "Me and Roy came to help you. You have to trust us on this Winry." Smiling she nodded.

"Thanks."

I knocked and the door and heard the bed shift in reply. "Edward...?" He coughed and I opened the door slowly, balancing the food in my other hand. Pushing the door away I walked in and set the food on the bedside table. Ed was sprawled over the bed, his hair a mess and his eyes drifting all over the place. He had bags under them from lack of sleep and a small trail of drool down his cheek. Honestly, he looked terrible. Like a drug addict you find passed out in the slums.

"Ed, you haven't had anything to eat in a while. I got you some soup." He leaned his head towards me, but his eyes still wondered about the place. Whatever that doctor had given to him had him completely messed up. Wiping his face, he pulled himself up and tried reaching out for me.

"Um... I kind of can't see at all really..." He mumbled. I took his hand and pushed the soup bowl into it. Carefully he layed it on his lap and I gave him the bread. "Thanks a lot." He smiled sadly as I sat on the bed.

"So do you want to talk to me about what has been upsetting you?" Dipping the bread clumsily into the soup he shook his head. "That's okay. You don't have to if you don't want to."

"No. You don't understand. I- I can't remember much of the last week or so..." He leaned over frowning. "I can remember bits, like the kids and Winry... But, I don't know. A lot of it is just kind of fuzzy." He broke the bread up and dipped it in again, his hands shaking. "I don't why I upset everyone." He sounded so.. Childish. It was weird, when he was younger he always seemed so grown up. But now he is and has a family, he just can't seem to handle it all. "Riza. Don't... Please don't tell Al..."

My head snapped up from my lap and I saw the tears down his face. "He is already busy in Xing. I don't want him to worry about me. Please don't let him know." I put my hand on his back, I felt terrible. I knew he needed Al more then ever but maybe it would just upset him more? If his depression was stemming from his past then maybe he was right and it would be better if he didn't see Alphonse.

"Thank you for the soup. I think I want to sleep now."

"Okay." I took the soup and bread away and watched him pull the covers over his tear stained face. He looked so lonely, laying there on his own. It must of been weird for him when Alphonse got his body back, he was always there with him as he slept.

Walking outside I realised how beautiful this place is. I had not been here many times, when ever me and Edward met up it was in Central. It was really a lovely place out here, so open. I walked down the old beaten path towards the hill. I hadn't been up here in years, the first and last time I did was when I met Edward and Alphonse.

Stopping I looked over at the graveyard, their mother was buried here. Along with their farther. I walked in past the graves, many dated at the time of Ishval. Resembool really had been hit hard by that war, so many who died there now lay here. I stopped at the two graves, the parents of the two young alchemists. Van Hohenheim's only having his name, and date of death. No date of birth.

I saw some old flowers on both of the graves, a small note lay upon one. Picking up I tried to read the scrawling writing.

"I miss you two so much, I think you would be proud of me. Al and I are very happy. I hope wherever you are they you two are happy as well."

Edward. This was definitely his writing. How many times had I gotten messy reports with that scrawl all over them? Funny, I never thought he would be the kind to believe in a afterlife or to write soppy things like this. Laying the card down once more and bowing my head I left the graves in peace.

Pulling myself up the hill I looked around, the view was amazing. I could see why someone would want to have a family up here. I turned myself around to the charred remains of the house. Everything of it had been burnt, something I was more then familiar with. The partly blackened tree loomed over me, casting a dark shadow over the foundations of the house.

I wasn't sure why I even came up here. I just didn't want to stick around in the house for much longer, the mood was deathly. I walked around the back of the broken building. I stopped when I saw a large square stone. Squatting down I saw a inscription.

"R.I.P." I stood up and looked at the ground below me. Could it be the... That the thing they made was under my feet? Backing up I sighed. This place was worse then the house. Everything here was a reminder of how those boys screwed up, it was just depressing. I really shouldn't of come here.

Walking back to the house I thought of Alphonse, the letter should reach him in a day or so now. As soon as he reads it he will be down here. It should take him... Around a week to get here. Now we just have to look after Edward until then.

Wait.. Was that Riza? She seemed to be looking around, was she looking for me? "Riza!" She jumped at the sound of my voice but came running towards me. "Whats wrong?" She shook her head smiling.

"Nothing, Sir." There she goes again with the Sir, why can't she just call me Roy? "Have you been to their house?" She looked up at the hill, as I nodded.

"Yeah, isn't half a depressing place. I was just heading back. You coming?" I asked, already knowing the answer. She nodded and we walked together in companionable silence until she coughed. I had know Riza for many years now and when she coughed like that she wanted to talk about something serious.

"What is it?" I asked, watching her face.

"Edward asked me to do something for him." She was tense and seemed upset over whatever it was. Hundreds of things he could of asked her ran though my head until I landed on one dreadful thought.

"What did he ask!" She looked at my face.

"Calm down, it's nothing like that. Just..."

"Yes?"

"He asked me not to tell Alphonse about whats going on. He really meant it Roy. He was crying." I took her hand. "But I have already sent the letter to Al, Edward trusted me not to let Alphonse know.. " I rubbed her hand gently and pulled her into a hug.

"Shhh. It's okay, by the time Alphonse gets down here Edward will of changed his mind. Anyway Al deserves to know, they are brothers." She nodded, still in my arms. "I love this place."

"Eh?" She looked up at me.

"I would love to have a holiday home here. Maybe have a family here some day." She gasped blushing. Pulling away she grabbed a concealed gun from her trousers and used the butt of it to wack me around the face.

"Ah!" I fell to the ground. Pulling my hands to my face I felt the bruise already forming on my cheek. "What was that for!" She glared at me.

"Stupid! You could of found a more romantic way to ask me that." What was she on about! I just told her how much I loved her! How much I wanted a family with her and she wacks me with a gun! But then again she is Riza, and I don't think this would go any other way.

"I want a family with you!" I yelled. Her hand jumped towards me and I flinched thinking she was going to hit me again but she was smiling. She left her hand out for me to hold onto.

"Me too." She replied, I grabbed her hand and she pulled me up into a kiss. God I loved this girl.

I sat by the window watching the sun slowly go down. It was a lovely sight, it made all everything glow a orangey yellow. But honesty I didn't care. I was too busy worrying about Edward. I had gone up to him once after Riza had, but he was asleep. He was twitching and sweating, like he always did just before having a nightmare. I shook him awake but he didn't want to see me.

I wished Alphonse wasn't so far away. It would take him quite a while to get from Xing to here, even with the new train route though the desert. I bit my nails, I was going to have to find him a place to stay but only the patients beds where unoccupied now. But what if May comes with him? They will want to be in the same bed wouldn't they?

I was unsure, they where in a very loving relationship but as far as I knew had no plans for marriage or a family. They where too busy having fun. They really where a good pair, Alphonse who had not felt his body for so long wanted to do everything. Mai who was very energetic and happy wanted to do everything with him. They really where perfect for each other.

I walked over to the board by the door and picked up the last photo of us all together. It was in Rush Valley. Only a few days after that Granny died, leaving us the whole house and the land around it. I really missed her, she was the last of my family. But she had lived long enough to see my own family and so she died happy. I would have to visit her grave again soon and put some more flowers on it and my parents. I wonder if Edward would be okay to come with me?

The doctor had left a while ago, he was staying in some place by the train station. Roy and Riza still where not back and the sun had already set and it was dark. No point in being worried about them, one was a state alchemist and the other one of the best snipers around. I turned off all the lights but the one's in the hallway so they could see when they get back and went upstairs.

Gently knocking on the door I walked in expecting Edward to be asleep. But there he was laying on top of the covers looking at the ceiling with a blank face. "Edward?" I lay down on the bed next to him. He didn't seem to even notice I was there. He just kept staring up with those golden eyes. He looked better but still looked way out of it.

"I am leaving." What? What! "I have to go Winry."

* * *

Clifhanger! Dun dun dun! Anyway sorry this one took a while to write, I had a lot of problems with it. Thanks for reading!


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